Serve and Support

It has been very hectic this week.  I admit I'm a little frazzled.  Shawn's Grandpa passed away this week.  He went to Fort Scott while I stayed here with the boys.  Bedtime alone is hard with the two boys.  Two baths, Nathan's creams, tummy care, prepping his feeding bag, and tonight he had his infusion.  I was so thankful that our nanny Hailey came over to help.  What a blessing she has been in our lives.  That was such a huge answer to prayers.  Her passion for kids, her love for my kids is amazing.  She is a hard worker.  We are thankful God put her in our lives.

Nathan ate more bites!  Praise God!  I accidentally missed one of his feeds, but he was trying so many more foods!  I am excited for the feeding clinic in January.  I almost can't imagine what it will be like for him to actually eat again.

I was just trying to enjoy the noys smiles this week.  I love nathan's deep dimples and how he opens his mouth so wide when he laughs.  I love Isaac's silly jokes, and how he tells me he is "hilarious".  What sweet moments.  I am scared that I won't remember how they sound, what they look like.  I want to hold on to the momeries forever.

I have been frusterated this week regarding the lack of support for Nathan's condition.  We are treated on a hematology oncology (HEMOC) floor by HEMOC doctors, but we are like outsiders.  There are so many agencies that cater to kids with cancer and their families, but they will not offer services to us.  We were rejected this week by SuperSibs.  It is a n agency dedicated to help siblings. . .of kids with cancer.  Even though Nathan went through chemotherapy, even though Isaac had to be months without his mommy.  For some reason Isaac's journey is not worthy to receive their support.  I would like help in knowing what I can do for Isaac in this process.  I was hoping that it would be one place where the focus would be on Isaac, that it would be special for him.  I was hoping that it would be a  place so we could learn the effects this illness has had on Isaac and what we could do.  There have been many more rejections. . .

I love kids with cancer, we have many new special friends.  I love the kids spirit, their strength, their innocence yet how old they have grown too quickly, I love their joy.  I agree childhood cancer needs more funding.  Cancer is awful, so is any kid that has to have chemo, so is any kid that has to be in the hospital, so is any sibling that has to be without their mommy and daddy.  But what about families like mine?  Where do we get help?  Where do we get support?

Maybe someday God will allow me to serve and support families like mine.