Nathan is over 11 pounds now and doing good. He loves bath time and had his first tummy time in the crib this week. They have finished the baseline tests, and he had his first IVIG treatment this week. He will have them weekly until the transplant, then bi-weekly afterwards. Chemo treatment has been delayed. We're still waiting on confirmatory tests on the cord blood and then it will be shipped from Germany. We will probably not start chemo until the 20th. Shawn and I will meet with the doctors tomorrow to sign the consent forms for the treatment.
We are being patient. Patience is so important in this process.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12-13
As we face the medical issues, insurance, and financial aspects it's easy to get anxious. It's not a battle you win once, but a daily reliance on the Lord. Some days are better than others. My battle is with anxiety. (I love Phillipians 4:6) We all have our battles, it can be fear, pride, anger or many other things. And every day, sometimes multiple times in the day, I try to lift it up to God. It was not meant for us to carry on our own, I must rely on his strength.
Although we are in a challenging situation with Nathan, I know God has put us here to grow in Him. . . as spouses, as parents, and as people. I want to be obedient. I need to respect my husband. I am called to do certain things because I've been blessed to be a mother. I must look to the word of God to still search how I can learn, grow and be obedient.
In honesty, some days I feel numb, I don't feel close to the Lord. There are days I don't feel like talking to people, even though it is what I need. There are days I don't want to write on the blog. It is part of my grieving process. But I must try to be disciplined. The true desire of my heart is to grow, and for this to be used for good.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Again, thank you for your prayers. Continue to pray for Nathan. Pray for him to remain healthy, and protection during chemo. Pray for our marriage, for Shawn and I to grow closer, and how we should discipline Isaac in this time.
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