Yesterday was really hard. Our hearts hurt, we are grieving the loss of life as we knew it. From now on everything will be different. The effect on Isaac has been the hardest for me. It's so sweet, he knows he has a baby brother, and that his name is "Nafan". He came to see Nathan through the glass door on Tuesday. Shawn and my mom were with him, but all he wanted to do was open the door. They told him it was locked. The next day he asked me, "Mommy is the door still locked?"
He came up again last night, and it was hard. He was so upset he couldn't come in the room. Shawn went home with him to put him to bed. I was sitting in the room so alone, no one could come and comfort me. I have this beautiful little boy, but my heart hurts so much. It was then I realized all I have is God to rely on. Many times in our lives we try to turn to another person or thing, when we should be turning to God. God has put circumstances in my life where there is nothing I can do on my own power, I have to trust in Him. That time has come again now. The point where your strength, your knowledge, your peace ends, is where Christ works the most. It is in the hard times, that you become so aware of the power of the Lord. You have to let him carry you, you have to choose to trust him. We are imperfect people, but he has a perfect love.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
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