Answered Prayers

I'm sorry it has been so long since the last blog.  We have been waiting for the test results to come back.  Over the last week, God has been showing me that I am supposed to wait patiently, and put my hope in Him.  I am reading in Psalm, 


When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.
Psalm 94:18-19


I was anxious over issues with insurance, the coming treatments, finances and waiting.  I am not just supposed to get through the day, but to focus on the Lord.  He has already answered so many prayers.  We have an incredible staff here that takes care of me and Nathan.  Nathan even got a baseball cap signed by a Saint Louis Cardinals player.  I have been able to go home regularly to see Isaac (YAY!!).  The insurance issues are being resolved.  My family has been an incredible support.  And a huge unexpected blessing, Nathan and Isaac get to meet today for the first time.

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:25 Nathan is doing great.  He has gained 2 pounds, 6 oz and grew over two inches, all in two weeks and two days.  Isaac is getting smarter by the day and talking up a storm.  He is not just getting to know my family, he loves them!!!  Shawn has been busy doing projects at my mom's house fixing things.  He is very gifted for that.  We should know results any day now who the donor will be.  Things will start happening very quickly then, and I will have regular updates.  They are still shooting for transplant at about a month, which is in a week and a half.  Chemotherapy will most likely start in 1-2 weeks.  We will keep you posted. I have to be reminded and work to keep my focus on him.  Once I did, he blessings have been amazing.  The peace he has given us is beyond comprehension.  To God be the glory.

The Donor Search

Nathan is two weeks old today!


We are still getting adjusted.  Nathan has gained over a pound, he loves to eat! Shawn, me, and Isaac were tested for donor possibilities Thursday of last week. The results will take about a week to get back. We're praying that Isaac is a match, minimizing the chemotherapy needed. If not, the next preferred source is cord blood.  They will search the international cord blood bank for a match. They wont begin the bone marrow transplant until he is 1month old. He just needs to get a little bigger and stronger. 


We had a sweet fathers day.  I got out of the hospital and spent time with my family, Shawn and Isaac.


Prayer requests:  We are already starting to have issues with insurance coverage for certain procedures and medicines.  At one point the insurance company was stating if we had a certain type of procedure done we would have to transfer to another hospital.   Cardinal Glennon staff has been awesome.  They are going to bat for us.  God has gone before us, and was already showing us how he answers prayers.  Please keep this in your prayers that the insurance issues will be resolved.  


The journey continues . . .

Trust, Patience and Waiting

Just to give you a glimpse of our new home for the next few months.  When they say isolation, they mean it.  My new sterile glass house is about a 15'x15' room with glass sliding doors.  We are the only people in the bone marrow unit, so the nurse is assigned to only us.  It requires a 2 minute surgical scrub to come into the room.  If I haven't left the bone marrow unit itself, it only requires a light scrub in.  Anyone else entering the room must also wear a gown.  If I go out into the hospital, most times I will change clothing before going back into the room too.  Once the treatments start, there will be even more restrictions.  Anything that touches the ground is contaminated and must be washed.  All that equals LOTS and LOTS of laundry.  The staff here has been very kind.

Isaac is doing great, he is having so much fun with my nieces and nephews.  It has been a great opportunity for him to grow closer to my family.  Shawn is also doing good, I am so proud of him.  He has been so supportive, an seeing the bond he already has with Nathan is so sweet.

It has been a slow start.  They are still conducting testing.  They had a lot of difficulty drawing blood from Nathan which was hard to watch.  After the results are back, the search will for the bone marrow donor.  The best option would be for Isaac to be the donor if he is a match, the next best option would be to get cord blood.  If Isaac is the donor, Nathan will not need the chemotherapy regimen, at least not near the extent if it is another donor.  The amount of chemo will depend on the source of the bone marrow.  They have warned us it is very intense, and Nathan will get pretty sick.  It will be a lot for his little body to go through.  They said nothing will probably start until the beginning of July.  Please pray for the search for the donor to go well, and that he doesn't need to get a lot of chemotherapy, and for the transplant to be smooth without complications, and for him to regain full function of his immune system.  There are so many unknowns at this time, so much that they can't promise, and we are trying to trust in the Lord.

In this situation, when there often times is no one else, it is an incredible picture of how we need to complete trust on God and depend on him.  It is evident when everything else is taken away.  Its very difficult, but I hope that I will be able to grow in the Lord in an amazing way, and have a much better focus on him.  The first couple days have been really tough. Being separated from Shawn and Isaac is excruciating.  I am thankful for the strength the Lord is supplying.  

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Proverbs 3:5

We're Here

We made it to Saint Louis, and are adjusting to our new homes . . . mine in the hospital with Nathan, and Shawn and Isaac at my Mom's house.  It has been overwhelming, exhausting, and emotional.  Praise God, due to storms, I did not have to fly (I do NOT like flying, especially not on a small plane) due to the storms.  We went by ambulance, and I got to ride with Nathan.   The transport team was excellent.  It was so hard for Shawn to watch as Nathan and I were being transported away to Saint Louis.  I am so proud of his strength and courage.  He has been such an incredible support.

We are in the process of determining who the donor will be.  They have had a lot of difficulty in drawing the blood for the testing since Nathan is so small.  He has been so brave and such a good boy.  Please pray that Isaac is a match so Nathan will not have to under go the chemo treatments.  Isaac has a 1 in 4 chance of being a match.

Please continue to pray that we rely on God and for his peace that passes all understanding.  We appreciate everyone's prayers and support.

On our way.

As my official first blog, (Shawn) I am wondering what to write. This isn't easy for me given the circumstances, but I will do my best.

Beth leaves on a fix winged flight with Nathan tomorrow morning. It is a small aircraft built for this kind of transport so I am sure everything will be fine. Please pray for a smooth flight since Beth is a little scared of flying. I have no doubt she will be strong for Nathan.

I will be following in the car once Beth and Nathan are on their way. It is going to be hard to say goodbye to everyone and everything we have grown to know. It is definitely going to be a huge change in lifestyle and surroundings. While I know its going to take some time to adapt to all the newness, I still have the feeling inside that there are going to be so many great things that come out of this new adventure.

I must say I am overwhelmed with the support and prayers from everyone. Our church family has been so great and supportive with prayers. My Iron group and our small group has been awesome. Friends, family neighbors, more gracious than we could ever imagine. I can't thank you all enough for everything. Beth, Isaac, Nathan, and I love you all very much!

God is good!

Imperfect People, Perfect Love

It would be very easy to write about only the positive experiences along the journey.  It would seem we are strong, confident and always fueled by our faith.  The truth is we are all imperfect people.  There are good days and more challenging days.  There are times that really hurt, and times we are stressed and overwhelmed, and just handle things the best we can.  It is these days that I am truly thankful for God's grace, and you can see just how amazing He is, and the depths of His love for us.

Yesterday was really hard.  Our hearts hurt, we are grieving the loss of life as we knew it.  From now on everything will be different.  The effect on Isaac has been the hardest for me.  It's so sweet, he knows he has a baby brother, and that his name is "Nafan".  He came to see Nathan through the glass door on Tuesday.  Shawn and my mom were with him, but all he wanted to do was open the door.  They told him it was locked.  The next day he asked me, "Mommy is the door still locked?"

He came up again last night, and it was hard.  He was so upset he couldn't come in the room.  Shawn went home with him to put him to bed.  I was sitting in the room so alone, no one could come and comfort me.  I have this beautiful little boy, but my heart hurts so much.   It was then I realized all I have is God to rely on.  Many times in our lives we try to turn to another person or thing, when we should be turning to God.  God has put circumstances in my life where there is nothing I can do on my own power, I have to trust in Him.  That time has come again now.  The point where your strength, your knowledge, your peace ends, is where Christ works the most.  It is in the hard times, that you become so aware of the power of the Lord.  You have to let him carry you, you have to choose to trust him.  We are imperfect people, but he has a perfect love.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.    
Philippians 4:13

Here are some other scriptures I found that were helpful.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Psalm 16:2

Praise and Planning

Yesterday was very emotional, but God gives you what you need as you need it and not a moment before.

One of the hardest things was the thought of being away from Isaac for 6 months while rooming in with Nathan, which is how long the doctors originally said he'd be in the hospital.  Yesterday as we were making detailed arrangements, the doctor said Nathan would be in the hospital for 2-3 months after the transplant, then 3 months at a Ronald McDonald House.  We worked it out so we can be released to my parents house instead with certain restrictions, no pets or visitors.  We were so thankful!!!  First, to my parents for graciously letting us impact their home and lives.  We are also thankful because that means it will only be 3 months until Isaac can meet Nathan and be with him.  We will be together as a family, with my parents whom I love so much!  God is so good.  Shawn and I both have an incredible peace.  God showed us once again how he will provide every step of the way, and that we must trust him.

We depart for St. Louis Monday morning.  Nathan and I will fly, Shawn will drive.  Once in St. Louis, they will begin testing to see who will be a donor.  Nathan will have the bone marrow transplant in 2-4 weeks.  Shawn and Isaac will be staying with my parents.

We are so thankful, we praise God for this big little victory and the hope and peace he has provided for us.  One of our favorite songs is by Casting Crowns, Praise You in this Storm.  They sing this Psalm:


I will lift up my eyes to the hills— 
   where does my help come from? 
My help comes from the LORD, 
   the Maker of heaven and earth
                         Psalm 121:1-2


Our help and strength comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and earth, and our baby Nathan.  Thank you Lord for being our prince of peace, provider, healer, all powerful, loving God.  To him be the Glory!  We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

His Will Be Done

The second test revealed that Nathan's T-cell count is zero.  They will run one more test, but it is likely he is affected with Severe Combined Immunodefeicency, (SCIDs).  We will be transported to Saint Louis on Monday. 
This is not the outcome we were hoping or praying for, but the Lord's will be done.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.  Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:5-8

Our hearts are grieving, but we must trust in the Lord with our son.  Our hope comes from Him.

Thankful and Patient

Happy Birthday Nathan!
Nathan was born yesterday at 4pm.   He is 6 pounds and 14 ounces, 20 inches  long.   He had his eyes wide open, and has his daddy's cute dimples.

Thank you everyone for your prayers, they were answered.  The delivery was very peaceful, God is god.  He gave us great nurses that were such an encouragement.  It was long night of a lot of visits for baby and mommy, but we are doing good.

We are now waiting for the test results.  We are trying to be patient, and not to be anxious.  We should have results back by Friday.  The first test has indicated his lymphocyte count is low.  Although this happened with Isaac, it would have been much more reassuring if it were higher.  Our hope and trust is in the Lord, his will be done.

This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

We are rejoicing for our son.  Please pray that God would continue to give us peace,and that we trust in him. Please also pray for Nathan's health, and that the tests come back showing favorable B and T cell counts.

Preperations and Prayers

Shawn is packing our bags into the car, and I will get induced in 7 hours.  Tomorrow we will get to meet our second son Nathan.  In a few short days, we will know more of what the next six months will look like, and whether Nathan is healthy.  We are still praying for a healthy little boy.  At times tonight I started to feel anxious or fearful.  Here is the verse that God has laid on my heart, and I have used so many other times:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phillipians 4:6-7

We are thankful for our healthy son Isaac, and for the little life in me.  I am thankful for a wonderful husband and family, and for how he provides.  We are thankful for the wisdom of all of the doctors involved. 

As Shawn and I continue to put our trust in the Lord, we are confident he will provide the peace and strength we need.